What Does It Mean To Be Enough?

I recently attended a workshop where we were asked a simple question.

What is your intention for 2026?

On the surface, it is a pretty straightforward question. You might expect responses about wanting to be more organised, finding better balance, feeling healthier, or more grounded day to day. For some, it might be about finding a first job, returning to study, taking up a course, learning a language, or figuring out what comes next. For others, it might be about slowing down, reconnecting, or reshaping life in a way that feels more sustainable.

But those were not the responses that stood out.

What I noticed instead was how many people responded with the words, I want to 'be enough', or some version of that same idea. Wanting to feel complete. Wanting to stop struggling with the sense of not quite measuring up.

That caught my attention. And it stayed with me.

So I decided to explore this idea in my latest blog.

There are a number of universal deficiency stories that show up across gender, ages, social and economic backgrounds, ethnicities and cultures . Two of the most common are these.

I am too much.

I am not enough.

Often, they exist together. There is a common fear about taking up too much space while also feeling as though we do not deserve the space we are in. These are not personal flaws or thinking errors. They are learnt stories, ways we adapt in order to belong, to stay connected, to feel safe.

That moment in the room got me wondering about what 'not being enough' might actually feel like for the people sitting there. Not as a concept, but as a lived experience, and what feeling 'more of enough' might begin to look like for them.

Not enough rarely arrives as a just a simple thought. It tends to show up in the body. A tightness in the chest. A restless mind scanning for approval. A sense that rest, love or belonging has to be earned. For some people, it looks like overfunctioning, doing more, giving more, explaining more. For others, it looks like disappearing, stepping back, minimising needs or staying quiet.

Not enough is not something we talk ourselves out of.

It's a felt state.

We do not think our way out of 'not enough'. We feel our way back into wholeness.

These patterns usually have roots in early relationships, cultural messages about productivity and worth, and moments where connection felt conditional. This does not require blame or shame or over thinking. Just noticing how these stories came to be carried.

The purpose of this blog is not to turn 'being enough' into a set of concrete goals. It is not something to achieve or perform. Instead, I invite thinking about 'being enough' as a direction, a kind of a north star. A way of orienting ourselves, with the capacity we have, across 2026.

If being enough is a direction rather than a destination, then supporting ourselves is often less about getting it right and more about noticing.

Noticing when we push ourselves past our own limits.

Noticing when we apologise unnecessarily.

Noticing when our body tightens before our mind catches up.

Noticing when we move toward overfunctioning, or when we begin to shrink or feel the urge to withdraw.

This kind of noticing does not need judgement. It works best with curiosity.

For some people, this might look like gently asking what they are moving toward, and what they are moving away from. For others, it might be about sensing what feels regulating or settling in the body, rather than what sounds right in the head. It might involve setting intentions that are spacious and playful rather than demanding. Intentions about how you want to relate to yourself, not how you want to perform.

And for some, especially where 'not enough' has been structured and reinforced over a lifetime and fused with trauma, working with a counsellor or therapist can be a way to go deeper. These stories can be stubborn, resistent and painful, and for some having a supported space in which to explore can be useful.

Whether or not that is part of your path, there is still value in pausing at the beginning of a year and asking what you want to orient toward, not perfectly, not all at once, just honestly.

As we start to move through 2026, perhaps 'being enough' does not need to become another goal to fail at. Perhaps it can remain a direction we keep turning toward.

Some days we will feel closer.

Some days we will not.

Both still count.